Today has been really good so far. I got to talk to Zach and the girls a lot. It was great hearing their voices, their singing, and their laughter. Their tears was much harder to hear but it was sweet hearing Zach calm Marissa down.
Today is another day in the process of finding the real Natalie. I spent the day cleaning and talking to friends, and now I am doing my daily blog.
Special plans? Yes, I am planning on making a candlelight dinner for my husband on his return...and even though it sounds quite corny..I am so excited because I have never done anything like this. I love spending time with him and showing him that I am falling more and more in love with him everyday. I cannot wait for the day he calls me his wife again.
Well now that the cleaning is done. It is time to relax until I make my special dinner for him. I cannot wait to surprise him :)
Love you Zach.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Goals for the next week...
Here is a list of my goals for the week. From simple...to complex....to stupid....to funny.
1. Start marital counseling
2. To attend church
3. To clean my house from top to bottom
4. To hit the gym at least 3 times
5. To watch a whole movie with my husband
6. To start personal counseling
7. To find a support group
8. Look for good schools in the area for my oldest, Marissa
9. To write an in-depth letter to my sisters, Chandra and Brittany
10. To cook a good meal for my hubby and I
11. To blog everyday even if it means saying hello...or good day...or bad day
12. To pray to my aunt Lisa and Grandpa
13. To tell myself everyday "I love me" and "I am strong" and "I will DO THIS"
14. To schedule a dentist appointment
15. To make more lists like this :)
These are just a few things I want to focus on this week. I may get them all done or not...but to hold true to myself. Love myself everyday. To focus on the future and I will find the real Natalie and what makes her happy.
I love you Natalie.
1. Start marital counseling
2. To attend church
3. To clean my house from top to bottom
4. To hit the gym at least 3 times
5. To watch a whole movie with my husband
6. To start personal counseling
7. To find a support group
8. Look for good schools in the area for my oldest, Marissa
9. To write an in-depth letter to my sisters, Chandra and Brittany
10. To cook a good meal for my hubby and I
11. To blog everyday even if it means saying hello...or good day...or bad day
12. To pray to my aunt Lisa and Grandpa
13. To tell myself everyday "I love me" and "I am strong" and "I will DO THIS"
14. To schedule a dentist appointment
15. To make more lists like this :)
These are just a few things I want to focus on this week. I may get them all done or not...but to hold true to myself. Love myself everyday. To focus on the future and I will find the real Natalie and what makes her happy.
I love you Natalie.
Who am I?
I am Natalie. I am 23 years old. Mother to two beautiful little girls. Wife to a U.S. Sailor since March 2007. Friend to many. Daughter to Cindy. And sister to Chandra, Brittany, Kylea, Anthony, and Christopher. I am niece to Tammy, Scott, Steve, and Lisa. I am granddaughter to William Banks and Linda.
But is this truly Natalie or is this just a description of her life and family? These are all facts of my life but they are not what truly makes me...well me.
What does Natalie truly love to do? Horseback riding, tanning, dancing, singing in the car, shopping, sewing, blogging, photography, Facebook, texting, playing online games, flying kites, hitting the beach, hanging my clothes in color coded fashion, trying on that new pair of denim jeans that fit just perfect the first time, drinking that first sip of my cappuccino, calling my mom as often as I can, getting my hair and nails done, and just enjoying many of life's fun adventures.
What does Natalie dislike? Spiders, washing laundry, scrubbing out the shower, unloading the dishwasher, taking out the trash, mice running across my toes, dogs barking for no reason, when my mail gets lost, paying bills, listening to lectures from people that have no idea what they are talking about, losing touch with old friends, moving away from friends and family, and just the other sad mishaps in life.
What does Natalie want? To live a month without depression. To hold my children close to me forever. To be a better wife. To be a better mother. To be a better daughter. Better Friend. Better employee. Better Sister. To graduate college. To become a teacher. To go on a cruise. To realize that life comes with problems and I am not to blame for everything. To face up to the consequences of my actions. And to learn to love ME for ME.
These are a few good things to know about me...Natalie. These are just a few things about me that make up who I am and want I inspire to be one day.
But is this truly Natalie or is this just a description of her life and family? These are all facts of my life but they are not what truly makes me...well me.
What does Natalie truly love to do? Horseback riding, tanning, dancing, singing in the car, shopping, sewing, blogging, photography, Facebook, texting, playing online games, flying kites, hitting the beach, hanging my clothes in color coded fashion, trying on that new pair of denim jeans that fit just perfect the first time, drinking that first sip of my cappuccino, calling my mom as often as I can, getting my hair and nails done, and just enjoying many of life's fun adventures.
What does Natalie dislike? Spiders, washing laundry, scrubbing out the shower, unloading the dishwasher, taking out the trash, mice running across my toes, dogs barking for no reason, when my mail gets lost, paying bills, listening to lectures from people that have no idea what they are talking about, losing touch with old friends, moving away from friends and family, and just the other sad mishaps in life.
What does Natalie want? To live a month without depression. To hold my children close to me forever. To be a better wife. To be a better mother. To be a better daughter. Better Friend. Better employee. Better Sister. To graduate college. To become a teacher. To go on a cruise. To realize that life comes with problems and I am not to blame for everything. To face up to the consequences of my actions. And to learn to love ME for ME.
These are a few good things to know about me...Natalie. These are just a few things about me that make up who I am and want I inspire to be one day.
Where is Natalie? Who is Natalie?
Who am I? Where is the real me? What am I all about?
These are daily questions that some of us ask every morning when we roll out of bed and every night before we tuck in our little ones and kiss them goodnight.
What curve balls are going to come tomorrow? Will my mother answer the phone? Will he or she ever forgive me?
These are life questions that will come about from the pain of yesterday and the questions of tomorrows bringing.
Am I true to myself? Am I living for me? Is this what I really want?
These are also questions I battle with myself everyday, every week, and every month. For no one truly knows the answers to these questions and how to find the truth.
But this is the path to forgiveness, hope, regret, and overall leading to the true path that one would want to live and achieve through daily sacrifice, admittance, denial, and achievements. So here I go to finding the real Natalie and what makes the real Natalie special....
These are daily questions that some of us ask every morning when we roll out of bed and every night before we tuck in our little ones and kiss them goodnight.
What curve balls are going to come tomorrow? Will my mother answer the phone? Will he or she ever forgive me?
These are life questions that will come about from the pain of yesterday and the questions of tomorrows bringing.
Am I true to myself? Am I living for me? Is this what I really want?
These are also questions I battle with myself everyday, every week, and every month. For no one truly knows the answers to these questions and how to find the truth.
But this is the path to forgiveness, hope, regret, and overall leading to the true path that one would want to live and achieve through daily sacrifice, admittance, denial, and achievements. So here I go to finding the real Natalie and what makes the real Natalie special....
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